Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike… Guess what day it is Mike...

Hump Day… Wednesday came with changes… some slightly better than bad, more were worse.  The Surgeon had told Suzanne that  they were likely going to put a tracheotomy tube in to assist my breathing and monitor me as it was likely I was not coming back to my old self.  (Spoiler… we all know that I defied his odds before)  She argued with him vehemently, telling him that I was myself before the surgery on Monday and I was still in there.  See, Suzanne had more inside information that the doctors needed to hear.  I have severe reactions to medications.  I have a list of allergies to meds that is a mile long.  Believe it or not, I have actually been called a freak by a doctor in regards to the fact that I have so many drug reactions/allergies, HA!  She conveyed that to them and pleaded for them to understand the magnitude of the problem.  Finally it sunk in and the doctors agreed with Suzanne to try to ween me off the meds they had me sedated with and try something else.  They agreed to try her way first, if that didn't work, they would proceed to their original plan.  Problem was that the drugs were fat soluble and those take extra time to get out of the system.  Of course!!!

Meanwhile, there is an MRI needed.  Imaging of the brain and spine to judge first for stroke then for the severity of the damage to the spine.  Sadly, it seems as though I was not in the mood to lie in the MRI machine.  I refused to be still and would shake my head each time the machine would start and the awful and loud noise would fill the tube.  At some point the the tech tried to still and calm me I lashed out at him and hit him.  Thus they had to restrain me and were not able to run the test.  My disposition changed from vacant to violent.  Anyone who really knows me can tell you that I am not a violent person.  I had to be tethered to the bed to stop me from pulling out "all those tubes and wires and careful nooks, and antiquated notions" (ha ha, my nod to Thomas Dolby), it was really just some tubes that I desperately wanted out of my throat and nose.  But in the state I was in I was far from understanding that I needed to leave those in and let them help me get better.  So Wednesday saw in me a change from sliding up into the corner of my bed and completely shutting out everything and everyone to violently fighting the restraints and hitting MRI techs.  Suzanne and Jay were able to calm me briefly by placing their hands on my cheeks and saying my name but that was not enough.

Was it ever going to get better?  Surely I didn't survive death, no, not near death, but actual death, to be left vapid and unable to live the life that God so graciously gave back to me.  To never again get to be a mother to my sons, a sister, daughter, granddaughter, family member, a friend, mentor, coworker, baker, artist, taxi cab driver, or all around goofball (something I am really good at).  Darlings, there is more, and there is always hope…

With Much Love,

Sonnie

The missing week… well, missing for me that is.

SO, successful surgery under my belt and sleeping in ICU, the wee hours of Saturday slowly become morning.  Saturday the sun rises and I am alive, gloriously alive and that is a miracle.  Suzanne stayed the whole night at the Hospital in that small waiting room to be there just in case something happened.  But on Saturday and Sunday I was awake and aware, nodding when I was asked questions and squeezing fingers in response to being spoken to.  I was able to recognize friends and family.  Respond to and understand questions.  I was me in spite of what I had been through.  Sometime over the weekend Dr. Odeh did a spinal tap on my back to try to get the blood flowing to my spine again.  That was left in for 24 hours and then taken out as my spine was not responding to the effort.  Sunday the lung specialist told my surgeon that he needed to drain the blood in my chest because my lung had collapsed and I was having trouble breathing.  The vascular surgeon, Dr. Chung, was not in agreement.  See… the blood had purposely been left in my chest in the hopes that it would clot the torn area of my aorta and thus give extra support to the repair.  The goal was to leave the blood for at least a week.  This was not, of course, my body's plan.  Monday morning arrived and Dr. Chung told everyone that I was doing well and that things would be left as is for now.  This was about 8 am.  Come 10 am the story changed.  Dr. Chung came back and said that the distress on my lung was so bad that he had no choice but to operate to drain the blood so my lung could inflate and I could breathe.  This is when he told Suzanne and Jay that this surgery was extremely risky and that the likelihood of me surviving was very low.  During this surgery if I for any reason started to bleed then there would be no way for the team to stop the bleeding and I would die, no way to save me if that happened.  His outlook was very bleak and that was understandably very scary for Suzanne, especially since she had to sign the consent forms.

Surgery on Monday afternoon to remove the blood was successful and they drained 3 liters of blood from my chest cavity and inserted a drainage tube to drain off residual fluids.  Once again, I beat the odds and surprised the surgery team.  Thank the Lord he had his hands on me the whole time.  Monday turns to Tuesday and something is wrong.  For some reason I was vacant and non-responsive.  I wouldn't listen or respond to any questions or look at anyone.  I favored my left side and kept sliding myself into the top left corner of my bed.  Dr. Chung told everyone that this was the result of my brain lacking oxygen and blood for over 10 minutes on Friday and that was just how I was going to be from then on.  They also suspected that I had had a stroke while in surgery.  Tuesday was a bad day indeed.

Wednesday is another day… I will continue the story from there.  Until then friends… Tell the people in your life that you love them, don't wait, for you are not guaranteed a tomorrow.

With Much Love,

Sonnie

Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer…. GO!!!!!

WHAT?!?!?!  She is where?!?!?!?  The shocking news came late in the evening for Suzanne and Jay, who were enjoying a relaxing evening at home in Shreveport, LA.  Suzanne screamed at Jay that they had to go to Dallas, NOW!!!  Those of you who don't make that trip need to know that it is a good 3 hour trip when done under normal circumstances.  Panicked and scared is a completely different story.  They both started to throw stuff into bags not knowing what they would need.  I laugh when I hear Suzanne tell this part of the story because she admits that the packing was a bit off… well… maybe more than a bit.  Jay proceeded to drive since Suzanne was shaking and crying and trying to call folks to get them up to the hospital and to just inform them what was happening.  Throughout all this they were able to be in contact with people at the hospital like Atesh and Tracy in order to keep updated and know what was happening.

A slow trip to Dallas was never the plan but let me tell you… when you need to slow down, there are ways of making that happen.  Try a flat tire… that should do it, ya think?  Suzanne and Jay got relatively far and had to make a pit stop.  Upon coming out of the truck stop/convenience mall (we've all seen these that have the multiple restaurants and all the extra junk that no one needs but we all buy, well I sometimes do) they got back in the car and started back on the way.  Thump… thump… thump… seriously, a flat now??  I can just hear Suzanne's brain going… You have got to be kidding!!!… I do not have time for this people!!!  Missing and then found tools complicated the whole "change the stupid tire so we can get back on the road" process.  Once they got back on the road things went smoothly.  Atesh had sent a picture of the entrance that Suzanne and Jay needed to go to at the hospital, genius move as it really helped them get to the right place at the right time.  Once they arrived at around 1 am they were immediately taken to the waiting room that was currently being occupied by about 30 of my friends and family.  (I have the best support system out there, just saying')  Suzanne said that once she saw Tracy she just gave her a big hug and felt like they had known each other for years.  Shortly there after the surgeon came out and informed the whole group (what a daunting task) what had happened and what was done in surgery to correct the problem.

So you all know what happened… I ruptured my aorta, died for 10 minutes, bled out 80%, was brought back and whisked into emergency surgery.  There the surgery team corrected my aorta issue with a stint that cuts off the artery to my left arm (because according to the surgeon, most people are not left-handed, needless to say his head dropped when I told him that I am, in fact, left-handed, ha ha…) it covers the upper area of my aorta.  A complete repair, in fact, it is 2 full stints covering a very large area.  The surgery was 4 hours and they had moved me to ICU for recovery.  Few were let back to see me in ICU and only 2 at a time when they were.  What a scary thing for all my friends and family.  Little did everyone know that a successful surgery was the start of a very dark week for me.  Even though the surgery went well and all things looked good at that point, the coming days were enough to frazzle anyone… and they did.  That part of the saga starts tomorrow friends.  Until then know that I love you and am blessed to have you!!

With Much Love,

Sonnie

A Drama to Rival the Hit Show ER…But in Real Life.

So…. you read Tracy's perspective, now let me tell you what has been conveyed to me in piecemeal of what happened and all the technicalities of the drama.

I left you with the speed bump on the road to St. Paul Hospital, simply because that is all I could remember.  But… according to my sources (Tracy, Atesh, Ivette, Charlie… etc) as I sat on the ER table in the midst of all the crazy I was texting my girlfriends at 6:38 pm and telling them that I wasn't going to make movie night because I was in the ER with possible heart issues, please pray for me.  I know this one because it is eerily on my phone even though I have no recollection of sending it.  Atesh texted me back asking what happened, where was I, do I need them to come up, was I alone.  I never responded.  During all this time I was having an EKG, x-rays and a dye test done and the doctors had determined that I had aorta issues, as this is what killed my father, the stakes became very serious at this time.  My friends called and I finally answered when Charlie called and spoke with them about the situation.  I kept telling Tracy that I didn't want to call anyone because I wanted to be able to tell them exactly what was going on when I did call.  In hind site, maybe that wasn't the best plan… oh well, I am psycho, not psychic…  At one point I did text my friends back, it was 7:17 pm to tell them I didn't know much and per Tracy, that was very close to the time that I coded.

Throughout all this there were so many different mini dramas playing out that it is hard to keep track.  Wes, my department Vice President had been at the hospital for a while and had gotten Tracy some dinner since she was staying with me in the ER.  He then went home leaving me in Tracy's capable hands.  All the while, Tracy was still asking me to call people, which I refused to do.  My girlfriends had then decided that they needed to come up to the hospital just to be there for me. Let me tell you, I have a great group of friends… I'm just saying'.  So back to my little corner of the ER.  The doctors had already determined that I had aorta problems and they were about to send me to ICU for observation leading to surgery.  I was in tremendous pain at this point and had told the doctors that my pain level was 9, no 10… no, I can't handle the pain any longer and then I died.  Tracy heard the doctor say "CODE BLUE" and she stood up, her wonderful number 1 dinner flying everywhere as she started to pray for me.  Then came the convergence… a plethora of doctors flying into the small ER room, all of them working in concert to try to save me from something that no one, let me emphasize that, NO ONE, ever survives.  Tracy continued to pray fervently as the doctors worked like a well oiled machine.  Once they brought out the paddles Tracy had to leave the room.  Who can blame her, it would have freaked me out too… Tracy left to the hall and started to pray out there and call Wes to come back, informing him that I had died.  The doctors labored over me for 10 full minutes before they were able to bring life back to my body.  No, don't ask, cause I don't remember the light or anything else as far as that goes.  I think my body shut down everything including my brain to conserve blood because I bled out 80%.  I ruptured my aorta, bled out 80%, died for a full 10 minutes and they were still able to revive me.  WHAT?!?!?!  Look up the odds on that one why don't you?  Can't find anything??  That is because there are no odds on that one… it doesn't ever happen, EVER!!

Meanwhile, Tracy is still in the hall praying… when one of the staff came to her and told her that she could stop praying, God had heard her and that I was breathing.  That is when Tracy went into action and got my emergency contact from the desk, telling them that this was surely an emergency, I had died, after all.  She called Suzanne and Jay, and once she got ahold of them told them what was going on.  At this point I was rushed into surgery to correct my aorta with stints, a nearly 4 hour surgery.  As I was being operated on, Wes and Tracy were trying to find contact information for my family with the help of Cynthia, whom, I might add, had come in to find this info and brought her fiancé from their date to help.  Isn't that awesome, what a trouper!!  During this time friends and family started to arrive because Suzanne was able to get ahold of my son, Nicholas, and her mother, Kathy along with Ray too.  All the Bunco girls started to arrive as well… apparently after the surgery, the doctor came out to a waiting room full of about 30 people.  But, my friends, that story is going to have to wait for another day.  There is more to this drama from another point of view and I will start that tale tomorrow.

With Much Love,

Sonnie

From Tracy's Point of View

Sorry for the delay in posting but I was waiting for some valuable information from my dear friend Tracy Sutton before I could continue.  Here is what happened next in Tracy's words…

"October 25th 4:45 pm… I was returning from Children's Hospital after meeting my sister Sharon, as I walked up to my office, I noticed an ambulance outside.  Chris was standing out waiting to show them where to come.  I asked him what happened and he said Sonnie is sick so I came in and I asked who is going with her to the Hospital?  No one said anything so I said I am going and I grabbed my bag and went with her.  As we were waiting at the hospital she was in pain really bad.  As they were asking her all the information and family history, I was standing there praying because at this point I had no idea what was going on.  The doctor came in and asked her a few questions about the pain and then he ordered her some pain medicine to help the pain.  Then they took some x-rays and once the x-rays came back they put some dye in to look further.  Once that test came back I knew something was going on because they told her they were going to move her to ICU.  While we were waiting for them to come give her more pain medicine she began to tell the doctor that the pain had increased.  So the doctor asked her what the pain level was and she said 9, but then changed it to a 10.  While the doctor was talking to her she began to breathe differently and said she could not take the pain anymore so one of the doctors went out to see where the medicine they had ordered for her was.  So, the doctor was typing in the chart and talking to Sonnie and when he looked over she had turned blue and he called out CODE BLUE!!!  I was standing there when all the doctors and everyone came running.  I began to pray out loud and asking God to come in and move on Sonnie's behalf.  I cannot remember all I said but I know that I said "We need you Father God RIGHT NOW!!"  I then called Wes Norred, who was there earlier and had gone home.  I called him and told him to hurry back that Sonnie had "Code Blue".  In the meantime while waiting on Wes, I started walking up and down the halls praying out loud, about 10 minutes later Sheila Hayes came out to me in the hall and she said "She is back, God heard you" and she walked over and gave me a hug.

Sheila Hayes, Floridalma Malin and Catherine Giron were three special women during this whole time, they showed that they cared and had much compassion even though they didn't know me or Sonnie.  Sheila Hayes went above and beyond.  Because we had been waiting for family to arrive, she made sure everyone got to where we were waiting for her to come out of surgery.  At this point Wes and I were still trying to call and get numbers and information to contact people for Sonnie.  Floridalma was the person that Sonnie gave the emergency number for Suzanne, and I told her at this point we needed that number that she had been given for emergency contact.  I told her "As you can see… she has coded, I have to call that number."  So once I got the number I called several times and no answer, so I texted her and she called me immediately.  I began to explain to her as much as I could tell her and she was saying I am on my way.  I told her that I needed her to calm down before getting on the road.  I advised her that no matter what the time was I would be there until she got there.  Once she arrived, we embraced and talked and she took over from there."

So there you have the next part of my climb… it seems so unreal to me, like I didn't really experience it… especially since I cannot remember any of it at all.

When I coded it was for a full 10 minutes, I died for 10 whole minutes and the doctors were able to revive me…

Friends, I will write more tomorrow on what actually happened to me that night in the ER at UT Southwestern University Hospital St. Paul.  Until then…

With Much Love,

Sonnie

Like a complex ballet, the choreography of that day was beautiful.

It's amazing all the different things that kept me where I needed to be that fateful day…

Let me start with the first thing that was out of the ordinary on Friday the 25th of October.  I drove my car to work.  That is not a normal thing for me. Generally I will ride the train to work, especially on a Friday… traffic, ugh!  But I did drive that day so that I could stop and pick up snacks for the movie night that me and all my Bunco girlfriends were going to have because we didn't have enough gals to play bunco.  Why is that significant?  Well, when I ride the train I leave the office at 4:45 to walk down to catch the TRE to Victory Station.  SO???  Well at about the same time I started having chest pain I would have been walking down near the Dean's office of the Medical School, this is an area with a large set of steep stairs that I go down and I typically do not see anyone over there or starting down the hill to the train.  I would have collapsed in an area of extremely low traffic where there is a large set of stairs, I just can't see anything good coming out of that situation with my condition.

If that doesn't boggle your mind, this should…  My Boss, Suzi, was getting on a plane for Houston at about the time I went down in my office.  Earlier that day she had the idea that she was going to send me home early for a mini break.  Unfortunately (actually fortunately for me), Keith got sick and went home after lunch.  Meaning that I had to stay since Chris and I were the only regular staff left at the office.  Again, what does that have to do with anything you ask…  I would have been home at the time of my initial issue and would have been possibly alone as my son Parker doesn't get home from school until 5:45 or so and Nicholas, my other son, has been out looking for jobs lately.  Also, there are no large hospitals that have the staff necessary for my type of emergency in my area.  The closest would have been at the Bush Turnpike and Preston Rd… pretty darn far from my house.  I would have been home alone on the floor unable to get to my phone since I couldn't move.  Who knows what could have happened to me as I fell or lie there at my house.

So, I did say that Suzi was getting on a plane for Houston, but when Chris called her she answered and told him to send me to St. Paul.  The reason for this is that we have special insurance as UT employees that gives us extra benefits if we use a UT doctor or Hospital (the Hospital I mentioned that I would have gone to if I had been home is not a UT Hospital).  Without this benefit the cost of my care would be astronomical, but with these extra benefits I am well covered and don't feel the need to worry about those things as I work hard to recover from my injuries.

All these things came together in my world to put me right where I needed to be to get to that ER where the doctors were waiting, even though they didn't know it, for me to arrive so they could dance their part in my complex ballet.

With Much Love,

Sonnie

Going Back Before I Go Forward

Before I start my journey on this blog I feel that I need to go back several steps and tell you my story from the beginning.  I will not be able to tell it all from my standpoint and will have to "fill in the blanks" with information from several other people.  I think this telling may take a couple of days, so if you can hang in there with me, you will get the big picture.

It all started on Friday, October 25th at around 4:45 pm.  I was getting ready to leave work to go to the store and buy some snacks for a girls movie night some friends and I were having.  I was sitting at my desk when suddenly my stomach started hurting and I felt as though I was going to vomit all over everything.  Lovely, huh? A few seconds later the pain went from my stomach to my chest, woosh… that fast.  It hurt so bad that my body started shaking and stiffened into a sort of plank.  I couldn't move or bend my body into my chair at all, I was holding my hands in front of my chest and crying out for help.  Chris, my co-worker, was at our front desk and he thought I was laughing since we had been watching this funny video just about 10 minutes earlier. Once he realized that I was in distress and that my cries were for help he rushed over and asked what was wrong.  I told him to call 911 and he went into action.

Meanwhile, several med students came over to try to help.  After asking several questions I told them to take me out of my chair since I couldn't move and I was stiff and shaking so bad.  I kept thinking I was going to break my neck on the chair if I kept hitting my head on it.  They were able to successfully get me out of my chair and onto the floor to try to make it easier for me.  The pain was absolutely excruciating.

Once Chris was able to get the ambulance on it's way he called my boss Suzi and she answered her phone, which was not expected since she was getting on a plane to Houston at the time.  Chris asked her what to do, should he send me to Parkland?  A resounding "No" was Suzi's answer.  Send her to St.Paul since it is a University Hospital (and I work for the University).

As all this was transpiring, Tracy, a woman who works in the office next to mine, was coming upstairs and noticed the ambulance.  When she came inside she asked who the ambulance was for and Chris told her it was for me.  She asked who was going to the Hospital with me and then told them that she was going.  She went next door and told her area that she was leaving for the Hospital with me and that she didn't care what had to be done to make it happen.  She then gathered my things so I would have what I needed at the Hospital, like my glasses, phone, purse, etc.

The paramedics loaded me on the stretcher, took me out and put me in the ambulance with Tracy and closed the door.  We went out of the parking lot, down the street and turned onto the street that St. Paul is on, went over one speed bump and that, my friends, is all I can remember of that day.

I will tell you tomorrow why all this happening the way it did is so very miraculous.

With Much Love,

Sonnie